Sexy surfer in a wetsuit; comment from an angry surfer …

Hi, friends and readers:

I get comments from gay surfers fairly often and I always enjoy reading them. Some are upbeat, some not, and one I received today sort of made my blood boil.

A young man named Nick, age nineteen, from Santa Cruz, CA wrote to say this:

“I go to community college and work part-time at a restaurant as a dishwasher. I’ve been surfing since I was eight. My dad taught me. He has surfed since he was a teenager. Not to brag, but I’m pretty good. I’ve placed in several comps here, where the competition’s tough. People know me at Steamer Lane, and up until recently I had a cool posse who I THOUGHT were my friends.

“A couple of months ago I told my friend Jesse I was gay. We’ve known each other since sixth grade and we’ve surfed together forever. I thought he’d be cool about the situation, but it wasn’t the case. He got all defensive and asked me if I was hot for him, if that’s why he was my friend.

“I just kinda blew up and said, ‘Look, fucker, if you think our friendship is about sex you’re wrong. Why are you being such a douche?’

“Well, next thing I knew everybody in the world knows I am gay. I mean everybody. I go out to surf and guys in the lineup call me names: faggot, sissie, butt-pirate, all kinds of names. It ruins the whole experience of surfing. Now I won’t even go to Steamer Lane, I go to some other break north or south of Santa Cruz where people don’t know me.

“When I tried calling Jesse about the situation, he wouldn’t answer my calls, I just got his voicemail and he never answered any of them or my texts. I can’t believe what an asshole he’s been about this. I mean, what’s the big deal about me being gay? I’m still the same person I’ve always been. I just prefer dudes to girls. What’s wrong with that?

“Anyway, tell the shredders who follow your blog to think twice about telling their surfing buds about being gay. It sure didn’t go well for me.”

Thanks for writing, Nick. I hope you don’t mind that I shared your comment with folks who follow my blog. I’m sorry about what happened to you. It won’t always go that way, you know. I promise. There are plenty of accepting people out there. But I’ve been to a Volcom surfing comp in Santa Cruz and I definitely sensed the local surfing community wasn’t gay-friendly. It’ll be better elsewhere. I guarantee it.

Okay, friends and readers, have a nice Monday evening.

5 thoughts on “Sexy surfer in a wetsuit; comment from an angry surfer …

    • Hi, Hayden/Lorena:

      Thanks for the article. I hope your writing’s going well. I just finished another YA novel. I haven’t decided what I’ll do with it yet. I may seek an agent and shoot for a Big 6 house.


  1. I am so sorry to hear this.
    I seek approval from no one about my sexuality – but I don’t advertise it. My sexual preference does not define me – I don’t see why it should. I do not hide behind it.

    My experience has been very different. I’ve been scuba diving for 20 years now, and finally came out to the dive club last week.

    I had a very warm response. It is a very straight male orientated sport – and I believe that I am respected as an experienced instructor and diver.
    After much treading on eggshells by many of the diving crew, We had a good chat over a pint. I told them this:-

    You are what you say, what you do and the company you keep. Nuff said.

    Occasionally, the company is not deserving. Not in a “I am better than you” way, but simply not meeting the basic standards that human respect demands. Treat others the way you expect to be treated.

    I am so sorry that you have had such a bad experience, but frankly, you deserve better friends ( its the company you keep bit above) It is very difficult to deal with when you are rejected, you would hope that good friends would see past the issue, but sadly, it is not always the case.

    Be true to yourself, and you cannot go wrong.
    Stick at it, and eventually, people will realise that you are a nice bloke, and a good trustworthy friend. Don’t let it define you. You define it.

    • Hello, Mike:

      Thanks for your wise comments. Perhaps they’ll help this young man feel better about himself and his situation. I know how scary it must have been telling your colleagues at work about your private life, but I’m also sure it took a huge weight off your shoulders, doing so. Now, you have nothing to hide. They either like you for who you are, or it’s their loss, right? Again, thanks for writing.


  2. I read this and it touched me. Nick is cute, Hot and adorable. If I was straight and was nicks best friend and he told me he was gay. I’ll be fine with it. But coz I’m gay, I don’t mind having Nick as a bf (boyfriend if ya don’t know what it means) as I’m taken, I still wouldn’t mind a surfing lessons from him though! Xx

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