Coming out is never easy, but it’s necessary.

sad boy #5Hi, friends and readers:

Okay, I know many followers of this site are young gay men who live their lives in the closet. I under-stand the predica-ment; it’s not easy, especially when all your friends are straight like mine were when I was in high school and college.

But look …. The longer you stay in the closet, the longer you are just torturing yourself. Being gay is not a crime; you haven’t done anything wrong. You are you and you have a right to exist. You have a right to be happy. And you have nothing to be ashamed of. Listen to me; I mean it.

Please take the time to watch this little video. It will make your day:  I don’t know who this young man is but I love him to death. He makes me proud to be who I am. If someone is able to give me his e-mail address, I would like to send him one of my books. Here’s what someone wrote about coming out. He said it far more beautifully than I ever could:

sad boy #11“A lot of you will remember I came out to my parents last Thanksgiving. If you’ve been following me a while you’ll know I’ve been reluctant to talk about it. I tend to internalize things and the actual act of telling my parents was just personally traumatic that I haven’t wanted to go back and relive the events of that night if I can help it. I spent the better part of my teenage years trying to block my parents out of my life, telling them I was going to calculus extra help when I was driving down to visit my boyfriend or lying about who I was hanging out with so they wouldn’t suspect I was gay or straight. November 26th, 2009 I single handedly destroyed that world I had built for them. It was like throwing the engine suddenly into reverse and being honest with them, and myself, was terrifying. I felt exposed but once I started talking to them about it, everything just poured out. All the lies, all the withheld information, all my fears, why I waited so long, how I had felt, how I was sorry.

“I’m not one to cry and I don’t think I’ve cried in front of my parents since I was little, but I couldn’t hold it back or stop myself. It was that kind of awkward cry where you can’t control what noises you make. But what I had done was permanent, there was no going back to the life I had had before. For years I’d lie awake at night and think about the day I would tell them, but once I finally did I realized I’d never thought about what my life would be like after. I was in completely uncharted territory but I wasn’t scared because I had nothing else to lose. I’d bared everything I had, I had turned my world around on them and the ball was in their court now.

sad boy #3“Neither of them knew what to do but I shouldn’t have expected them to. But they stood by me and told me that it didn’t change anything and that all they wanted was to know I was happy and safe. And even today, they still don’t know how to be about it but they try so hard. Its not perfect but now I feel like we’re trying to move on together. My relationship with my parents, my sister, and my brother has never been better and I feel a part of their world for the first time that I can really remember.

“My brother is getting married Saturday and being involved in making that wedding happen has had me thinking about my future and I think I can now say that someday if I have a wedding I can count on my brother to be my best man and my mom to fuss over the plans and drive me crazy and do everything else they would do for him.

green eyes“A year ago was the National Equality March and while I can’t even begin to go into how great and surreal that whole weekend was, it was that day last year that set me on the path to tell my parents. When they called me that night and asked me what I did that weekend and I had to say nothing, I couldn’t take it anymore.

“For anyone who still has yet to come out, you don’t need me to tell you it gets better after. But the closet does things to you that people aren’t meant to go through. The constant introspection and over analyzing and the fear, it stops. It goes away and it doesn’t come back.  Remember that telling people isn’t so much a clarification for them but a fight for you and your life. No matter how much it feels like your environment is dictating to you, remember you can give it the finger and change it however you like.

“That’s all.”


Have a great Tuesday, everyone.

One thought on “Coming out is never easy, but it’s necessary.

  1. I have a theory people should go by. It shouldn’t matter what gender you are or what color your skin is. Love is what’s inside, not what we see outside. When you truly love a person, you love them for who they are. But everyone seems to think that our gender categorizes who we can love. When you look at a person on the outside, you’re only seeing the very vague surface of who they truly are on the inside.

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