Coming out. Why’s it so difficult for some of us?

sad boy #4Hi, friends and readers:

Yes, I am posting a second time tonight, specifically because I want to share a comment I received a few days ago from a reader named John. Here’s what John had to say about the “coming out” process so many of us have gone through. I think he bears listening to:

“I’m 53 yrs old, but mentally I feel 14 sometimes, with worries about what people think. I’ve lived in the closet my whole life, quite happily too, because I don’t know anything else. This is all I know. When I think about how to tell my family, I get nauseous and feel like I’m going to pass out. They are very important to me and I don’t want to lose them. But now my boyfriend is even more important to me, so if I have to choose between my family and my boyfriend, I will choose my boyfriend now. This is going to happen in the near future. I am very scared, but I am very excited about my new life. I hope everything goes okay. Thanks for listening.”

Okay, John, normally I would respond to you privately, but I know many followers of this site will benefit from hearing what you had to say. Look, everyone has to do this on their own time table. In my opinion, it’s wise to out yourself to friends and family as soon as possible, but preferably after you’ve moved out of your parents’ house, so if they react negatively you aren’t all living in an uncomfortable situation 24/7.

John, living in the closet is hurtful; it’s constricting and completely unnecessary. Hell, you can even live an openly gay life while serving in the U.S. military branches with no reper-cussions. Believe me, you will sleep better at night, and experience a new self-respect once you’ve announced who you are and how you will live the rest of your days.

Good luck.

 

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