This morning, after I took my usual three-mile walk on the beach, I returned home and switched on my desktop computer. I found the following comment sent to this website by a reader named Philip. He had come across an old post I put up on this site from a gay teenager named Tyler who was pondering coming out to his parents. Here’s a link to the old post if you want to read it:
And here’s what Philip had to say to Tyler:
“It is March 2015 and I just found this webpage
“When I read about Tyler, the young man who got in contact regarding his Baptist parents and him being gay, my heart bled for him. I sincerely hope that over two years down the line since the original comment, things worked out for him and his parents.
“I remember the anguish I felt about needing to be true to myself and not wanting to “disappoint” my family when I eventually came out. As it turns out, my hand was forced. However, the weight that was lifted from my shoulders when the moment occurred was immense and the relief I felt at my secret being out in the open was indescribable.
“There were some difficult times after that as my parents came to terms with the news that there only child was gay, but things did get better with time. It was difficult and there were tears at the beginning, from both sides, but things did get better.
“I hope with all my heart that things worked out for young Tyler and his parents are fully supportive of him. If he has not come out to them yet, I would suggest he comes out to a close friend first, one who he trusts and has known for a long time. That way he has the start of a support group of friends just in case things get difficult.
“For me, the first time I actually said “I’m gay” was truly terrifying. But I accepted myself. The first person I told was my lifelong friend. Whilst I was fairly sure he would be OK, I was still scared that he might not accept me. It took me ages to tell him, but he accepted me and supported me.
“When it came to the next person,I was slightly less terrified and so it goes until you have so many people who have accepted you for who you are, that eventually, it doesn’t matter if someone has a problem with you being gay, because it is their problem, not yours.
“So, young Tyler, if you do read this, as I said, I hope with all my heart that things worked out for the best and life is treating you well. Heartfelt hugs from across the Atlantic.”
Wow … Phil, thank you so much for writing to Tyler and me, and for sharing your personal coming-out experience with the people who follow this website. I have not heard from Tyler since the day I posted his comment. Like you, I hope things turned out for the best for him.
It’s a beautiful spring day, here on the island. We have our doors and windows open. The birds are chirping and our patio fountain is gurgling. I’ve finished my writing for the day, and in just a few minutes I’ll prepare lunch for my boyfriend and me. Have a nice Tuesday, everyone.