Hi, friends and readers:
I was about to go to bed and I checked the blog just beforehand and, whoa … I’d received a long, rambling comment from another gay high school wrestler, this one named Brett from southern Iliinois. The comment was, honestly, heartbreaking.
Brett told me, “I am so lonely and miserable I have considered ending my life. This is my senior year and I’m supposed to be enjoying everything but I hate my life. I’m in love with a teammate, but I can’t tell him. I can’t tell anyone I’m gay. My parents would be so disappointed. I come from a Catholic family, very conservative. My mom would go crazy if she knew. Every time I wrestle in a meet I feel like a total fake. Here everyone’s acting so tough and all, me included, but inside myself I am gay. I just want to hold another guy in my arms. Is that so bad? I just hate everything about my life. Don’t suggest counseling because I live in a town of 12,000 and there are no secrets here. If I told anyone I was gay, everyone would find out and I would become an outcast.”
I don’t know what to say to Brett; I don’t know what it’s like to live in such an environment, but I know it must be lonely. Brett, all I can say is, it’ll get better once you leave home and go to school elsewhere. Hang in there, please.
Why do things have to be so hard for young gay men in this country? Particularly in the Midwest? I guess cornfields and queers don’t mix too well, do they?
Anyway, Brett’s message has left me a bit depressed. There must be thousands of guys like him out there, and I feel so bad for them. Okay … goodnight everyone.