You know I try to keep things upbeat and light on this blog. Most of the time it’s about photos of sexy guys and descriptions of my exciting daily activities.
But if you follow this blog you know I sometimes deal with serious subjects: gay teen suicide, bullying of gay students, and gay athletes who feel lonely and scared. I hear from gay kids all the time on this blog, and some of the comments are truly sad.
Yesterday I heard from a skateboarder named Nate, age 16, a high school junior. Nate lives in a Denver suburb and he’s gay. He said this:
“Hi, Martin. I’ve followed your blog for over a year. I read your posts about gay skateboarders over and over, especially when I’m feeling depressed. I’ve been skating since I was ten. I realized I was gay when I was twelve, but I didn’t tell anyone, not even my best friend. I just knew things wouldn’t go well if I did, so I kept my feelings to myself.
“A few months ago, when Spring semester started, I got to know a gay student in one of my classes. I’m not going to say his real name. I’ll call him Eric. We started spending much time together after school. I’d go to his house or he’d come to mine. Eventually, we got sexually active and it was the greatest thing for me, to finally touch another guy and have him touch me. I felt like somebody had let me out of a cage.
“Then Eric made the mistake of telling his good friend, a girl, about us. The girl blabbed about it to some people. Then, of course, everyone found out. Even my parents. I caught all kinds of crap from guys at the skatepark and at school. I got shoved in the school hallways and punched in the face twice. People sent insulting stuff to me on Facebook. It was so bad I had to stop seeing Eric, which really hurt. But I had to.
“I’m so lonely right now I don’t know what to do. My parents have been okay, I guess, but kids at school have basically rejected me. I’m a total outsider. My advice to other guys like me is to keep your feelings to yourself, at least until you’re out of high school. If I could go back in time, I’d do things differently. But of course I can’t. Sorry for sounding so depressed, but I needed to unload on someone.”
Nate, I’ve replied to you privately, but I have posted your comment so other gay teens, skaters especially, can hear your words and know they are not alone. Thanks again for writing me.
Okay, readers, I’m up early after watching the Tampa Bay Lightning win their second playoff game against Washington last night. Go Bolts! The next game is Tuesday, I believe, in Tampa. I’ll watch it on TV. The seats and the beer at The Forum are too expensive …
I’m real excited about my book, Adrian’s Scar. It’s due out in about a week. The final cover art has been chosen and final edits are complete. I’ll announce the book’s release when Adrian’s Scar goes on sale.
It’s a typical Monday for me: writing, visiting the YMCA for a workout with my boyfriend, cooking dinner for us and a friend. Nothing too exciting, but I enjoy these kinds of days. Wherever you are, I hope you’re enjoying your Monday.