Sad message from a closeted teen ….

Hi, friends and readers:

A few days ago I received the following message from a boy named Cristofer. He didn’t say where he lives but I believe it’s somewhere outside the U.S. Anyway, here’s what he said:

“Hi my name is Cristofer i am a gay teen and have parents who do not support lgbtq. I keep trying to come out but I cannot. I had this boyfriend for like 2 months. Me and him just told them we were best friends. When they found out he was gay we were playing xbox. Mom walked in first with my dad inches behind her. They told him to get out at first and then asked me if i knew he was gay. I said no to play it cool. Then they go to him and tell him to leave and that he can´t be next to me anymore. That was hard because we had most of our classes with each other. I have no one to talk to about this topic because no one around will talk about it without making fun of me. Most of the time i just want to die. Any advice?”

Cristofer, let me say a few things to you that I hope will be helpful ….

First of all, do not feel guilty or ashamed about being gay. You are not abnormal, you’re not mentally ill. You simply need the love of another boy, and that’s okay. There are millions of gay men around the world, and we deserve to be happy. There is nothing wrong with that.

Secondly, while I am sure you love your parents and they love you, it is their responsibility to accept who you are and to be supportive. Period.

Thirdly, you did not say how old you are, but the teenage years are often the toughest for gay men. Teenagers tend to persecute anyone who is the least bit different in any way. And teenage boys, especially, can be terribly cruel. You just have to know that as you get older things will  get much better. You can get away from all those cruel kids and find a group of people you can be yourself around. I know because I did so when I reached my early twenties, and that was 45 years ago when being gay was considered unacceptable by most people.

I know things are tough right now, but there are many people in this world who are ready to become your friends and to accept you for who you are. Just be patient. Your time will come. And one day you will find just the right boy to share life with. I know I did, so you can too.

Try to enjoy your holidays, and feel free to write me anytime.

Martin.

4 Replies to “Sad message from a closeted teen ….”

  1. thanks for reaching out to him, and trying to be supportive. We’ve all been there, so we have some idea of what he is going through. I just hope he can find supportive friends at school and around. I wonder if they have a gay-straight alliance in his school. Waiting for life to get better can be hard. I hope he can find the fortitude to be patient, and accepts your offer to stay in touch.

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